Hot Coffee Show

2:10 Apparently, Winning Is Still Too Complex For The Detroit Lions
Bearing witness to insignificant history; What does the coach of the 0-14 Lions tell his players in the locker room? How does the quarterback explain philanthropic football to his wife?

8:25 Olivia from Boston is having trouble with a French Horn Bully in the school cafeteria
Hot Coffee Show responds to viewer mail; Olivia and Shelly take a stand; the cafeteria erupts into song.

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N.B.: In response to questions, it’s true, they made up the song up live! Unfortunately the video tape ran out, hence the intermission. You can hear the original drums and keys Matt played live at the beginning when George the Jock first sings; all other production was done in post. Post, baby!

Lyrics: “We’re Under Attack!”

(George the Jock)
They’re making fun of us, can’t believe it
They’re making fun of us, I can’t believe it
I never thought this day would come
When we’d be on the run
Making fun of us—band kids and one jock

Chorus
This is whack!
We’re under attack!
(x2)

(Shelly, Olivia’s Friend)
Hey, Jean-Claude, you think you’re the cat’s meow
But I’m gonna school you and we’ll show you how
We’re making fun of your stupid horn techniques
We’re making fun of your stupid horn sneakers

Chorus

(Jean-Claude the Bully)
In my old school I was the biggest dork you’ve ever seen
Emotional problems, no girlfriends, and lack of self-esteem
My parents saw I had some problems, they took me out
Tried to teach me karate and make me play baseball

Then I had one crazy uncle who knew what was up
He said, “Jean-Claude, come over here, I’m changing your luck”
He put a French Horn in my hand and some money in my pocket
I switched up schools and I was bigger than the jocks

Chorus

(Olivia from Boston)
I’m tired of all this hierarchy
You can take your snarky looks and take all the malarchy
I’m ***** of the band
My name’s Olivia and I’m taking a stand

Hey you think you’re hot, oh you think you’re pretty cool
Well, guess what, I’ve got news for you
You play the horn and your horn is French
Well, I play the horn, too, and I play it better than sex

Chorus

11:16pm | URL: http://hotcoffeeshow.com/post/65483290/were-under-attack

FILED UNDER: episode

December 10, 2008

We Are Adults

Episode 5: We Are Adults

Two parts water, one part love: it’s hot coffee, an improv comedy show. Recorded December 7, 2008.

SCENES

00:30 In Hard Times, Is Best Buy’s Best Good Enough?
Best Buy is home to some of New York’s most talented sales people.

3:55 Jonas Bros Deny One Is Leaving The Group
What exactly is adult music, and why would Kevin want to sing it? The Jonas Brothers explain with a track off their upcoming album, “Make Us Adults”.

9:20 Plaxico Burress Faces Tough Gun Laws In Manhattan
There are better places to wear sweat pants, Mayor Bloomberg explores Manhattan nightlife, and DJ Big-Ass Jeff unleashes his hottest mixtape exlusive remix single.

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2:46am | URL: http://hotcoffeeshow.com/post/64052670/we-are-adults

(No. OF NOTES: 1)

FILED UNDER: episode

November 24, 2008

Undefeated at Life

Episode 4: Undefeated at Life

It’s not delivery, it’s hot coffee, an improv comedy show. Recorded November 23, 2008.

SCENES

00:35 Legal Tangles of ‘Project Runway’ Keep It Frozen on the Catwalk
Featuring Bravo’s latest show: Project Law Way.

04:20 Clinton-Obama Détente: From Top Rival to Top Aide
The wooing is complete. Is this love?

05:30 Barack Obama Surprises Joe Biden With Cupcakes on 66th Birthday
Joe Biden doesn’t quite understand dog years.

06:25 Madonna, Guy Ritchie Granted Preliminary Divorce
Don’t you fear, A-Rod’s here.

10:45 Jets continue to soar, send Titans to first loss of season
Brett Favre is undefeated at life.

14:40 A new single from Chinese Democracy, the new Guns N’ Roses album 15 years in the making.

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UPDATE Nov 26, 2008

Refill: Partial Lyrics

China is the biggest nation in the world
It’s got 100 billion people and all of them are girls (I wish!)
China, I’m coming! China, I’m coming!

In 12th grade I made a list
Of who I wanted to guest star on the album
That took five years, five years to write

What up? Slobodan Milosevic here on the track
Gonna make it hot, gonna bring the fire
Gonna bring Shaq, what up, Shaq Fu baby…

UPDATE Nov 29, 2008

Refill: Behind the Scenes - Chinese Democracy

Hot Coffee Show: behind the scenes - episode 4 (chinese democracy) from Hot Coffee Show on Vimeo.

7:02pm | URL: http://hotcoffeeshow.com/post/61389517/undefeated-at-life

(No. OF NOTES: 1)

FILED UNDER: episode

November 18, 2008

When You Coming Home?

Episode 3: When You Coming Home?

Not a palindrome: hot coffee, an improv audio show.

Scenes (news from 11/16/2008)

02:30 Kanye Speaks About His Bogus Arrest!
05:55 ‘Quantum of Solace’ Stirs up a Win
08:05 Obama Wants Applicants’ Web-Posting Past
10:55 Lindsay Lohan Attacked By Anti-Fur Activist
12:15 Interview with Kevin Youkilis

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UPDATE Nov 19, 2008

Refill: Behind the Scenes

3:45am | URL: http://hotcoffeeshow.com/post/60259283/when-you-coming-home

(No. OF NOTES: 3)

FILED UNDER: episode

November 10, 2008

We’ll Take Care of Ya

Episode 2: We’ll Take Care of Ya

84 colors of crayons: that’s hot coffee, an improv audio show.

Scenes (news prompts - links go to original stories) - 11/9/2008

00:32 Paloma downgraded to tropical depression
A hurricane calls a friend in need; two storms share secrets on a first date.
03:55 City Is Cited for Insufficient Safeguards at School Campus Being Built on Brownfield
Mutagen; Jeremy’s mutation surgery is a hit at the office.
10:13 Internet Attacks Grow More Potent and Complex
Network hacking and fire imagery; a family of Internet firemen comes together.

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UPDATE Nov 11, 2008

Refill: Ringtones

The Internet Fireman is calling.

(Right-click, “Save as…”)

Internet Fireman (version 1)
MP3 format | M4A format

Internet Fireman (version 2)
MP3 format | M4A format

UPDATE Nov 12, 2008

Refill: Behind the Scenes

Who knew a story about network hacking would lead to such hysteria?

To satisfy demand, we have purchased the rights to an illicit paparazzi video that shows the episode being created/written/composed/etc. live, on the fly. Below is a clip. That’s hot coffee.

P.S. The perpetrator used a high-def camera; view the source video at Vimeo to see it in full-screen HD piping-hot glory.

6:35pm | URL: http://hotcoffeeshow.com/post/59015957/well-take-care-of-ya

(No. OF NOTES: 1)

FILED UNDER: episode

November 3, 2008

Someday Will Be My Day

Episode 1: Someday Will Be My Day (teaser)

Don’t put it in the fridge! It’s hot coffee, an improv audio show.

Skateboarding class vs. computer class, sneaking a bill past Gov. Schwarzenegger, Phillies fans forget how to celebrate, adapting to a new economy, Marilson Gomes dos Santos looks terrific winning the NYC Marathon.